He sends a puck directly into mine, but he ends up knocking my puck into his 2-pointer, which causes it to fall off the puck. Having seen my aggresive play, Doug tries to counter. Son of a nutracker! The score is now 1-2. But still being wary of the speed of the table, I too undershuffle, and end up nearly knocking his puck off the table, but ultimately just pushing it all the way into the 2-point zone. By that I mean IвЂ™m trying to knock his puck off so his stupid face has to do a stupid shot. I shuffle my second puck out with blood intent. He respectfully disagrees, but concedes (we yell at each other for a couple of minutes). I calmly mention that this being East-Cockney rules, he will only be awarded one point. It creeps, and lands on the line between 1 and 2 points. I take my obligatory shot.Дoug, having seen the speed of this table, undershuffles his first puck. It flies off and hits the tableвЂ™s wall with a heart-sinking вЂњTHWACK!вЂќ ItвЂ™s cool, I say, IвЂ™m just getting a feel for the table. I sprinkle the customary extra little bit of silicone on the table to appease the shufflepuck gods, and proceed to sling my puck all the way down the table. In a magnificent double-rocks-fake, I win the rochambeau and am allowed to go first. The puck must completely cross the line to be considered in a specific point-zone If a playerвЂ™s puck is knocked completely off of the table, that player must do a shot of Fireball Whiskey (and not bitch about itвЂ™s smooth cinnamony taste).

Normally youвЂ™d go several rounds until someone scores a 15 or 21 (which is a frame if you care to know), but this being a gentlemanвЂ™s argument we settled it with East-Cockney rules (thatвЂ™s not really a thing, just how we played):Дisagreeing gentlemen play one round (4 shuffles each)ДЄ game of rochambeau* decides who shuffles first As you can see, each player gets 4 pucks, and once all the pucks have been shuffled, thatвЂ™s a round. Or you put your puck in front of your opponentвЂ™s (which negates that puckвЂ™s score). You take turns shuffling the pucks (hence shufflepuck) down the table, so strategy comes with being able to knock your opponentвЂ™s puck off the table. The goal of this game of champions is to score points by sliding the puck from the opposite end of the table ideally into the 3-point zone at the end. That sand-like looking stuff are beads of silicone (which basically is sand, if you wanna get chemical) and helps the pucks (the red and blue things) glide down the table. Now, if you donвЂ™t know shufflepuck (or Table Shuffleboard, as the losers at Wikipedia call it), itвЂ™s basically like the old people/cruise people game of shuffleboard, except that itвЂ™s played on a table: On the silicone-bead-sprinkled surface of the shufflepuck field. There was only one way to truly settle this. As there were a lot of oddly-colored characters, real-life Doug insisted Porkchop was mustard yellow, whereas I maintained that, being part of the Funnie family, he was regular-colored (gray or something). This led to a discussion of the cartoon DougвЂ™s dog, Porkchop. Upon learning his name, we began reminiscing about the Nickelodeon show of his namesake. Mere moments earlier, I had a disagreement with another bar fly. IвЂ™m at Plug Uglies in Gramercy Park, which is sandwiched between the douchebaggery of the post-college popped collars in Murray Hill and the fading awesomeness of the East Village. IвЂ™m sliding the cool steel of the shufflepuck back and forth on the table as I contemplate the universe through the haze of Fireball Whiskey.

Shufflepuck boise bars